Love
Love is supposed to be magical. It is supposed to make us feel special. At first, we adore our other half. He/she makes us feel alive. We are all looking for that feeling, for that tingling, for the butterflies in the belly, for love. However in a relationship sometimes it feels that the more we love, the more we get hurt and the more we get hurt the more we want to love. Someone said, "love creates problem".
The paradox seems colossal: We need love to stay in a relationship, but love makes staying in a relationship difficult. The more we love, the more we care, the harder it gets to make it work. So to make it work, should we love or not? Should we remove love from he equation?
The answer to the question seems obvious. How can one stay in a relationship without love. In fact if love creates problems it also helps us cope with the unsexy and unromantic bits of our lives: morning breath, snoring, pimples, colds, temper and breakdowns over silly things, crying in front of Terminator, yes it happens.
So here is the dilemma. What should we do? Often the thought runs through our minds if only I didn't love him or her that much. Things would be so much easier. I could simply take my bags and go. However the overflow of love stops us from being rational. Let's imagine the ideal scenario in which we live with someone we don't love. We get along, we are good friends, we satisfy each other's animal needs, we work together to organise our living space, we share everything with no fear of disappointing, ever because whether or not the other is disappointed doesn't affect us, whether the other is happy or not doesn't affect us either. What matters is that things work, like a piece of manufacturing machinery. It has a clear purpose, we take care of it to ensure that it remains fit for purpose for as long as possible. We service it, repair it, work with it, till death do us apart. Wait! This is marriage! Or is it?
So here is the dilemma. What should we do? Often the thought runs through our minds if only I didn't love him or her that much. Things would be so much easier. I could simply take my bags and go. However the overflow of love stops us from being rational. Let's imagine the ideal scenario in which we live with someone we don't love. We get along, we are good friends, we satisfy each other's animal needs, we work together to organise our living space, we share everything with no fear of disappointing, ever because whether or not the other is disappointed doesn't affect us, whether the other is happy or not doesn't affect us either. What matters is that things work, like a piece of manufacturing machinery. It has a clear purpose, we take care of it to ensure that it remains fit for purpose for as long as possible. We service it, repair it, work with it, till death do us apart. Wait! This is marriage! Or is it?
Indeed, if we remove love from the equation, the result is the machinery you were talking about, that fear of not being or dying alone that rules our brains since forever...
ReplyDeletesometimes I think that this myth of soul mates is just made to keep us busy since I sincerely believe that anyone of us would be perfectly capable of living alone...